Family

RealiTea: Don’t Be Mad At The Happily Married Housewife Of Atlanta


Last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta was quite entertaining in typical Housewives fashion.  The episode had fashion (tacky or cute is left to be determined), instigation (Kenya as always is messy), and a meltdown (poor Kim just couldn’t get it together).  While the premise of last night’s episode did not venture far from what Housewives show is about, there was one theme that is fairly new.  The theme is Kim Fields and her happy marriage.  It is rare to see a happy marriage portrayed on The Real Housewives of anything, or at least a marriage that is not plagued with divorce or infidelity rumors.  It was quite refreshing for me, a newly married woman, to see a married woman who desired to be with her husband.  As for the flack that she received, I did not quite appreciate that.

Yes Kim was annoying with her crying spells and she may have some social issues to work on, but her heart was in the right place.  I am all for a girl’s trip and letting loose with the girls every now and then, but I think the issue for Kim was that she was on a girl’s trip with women who did notreal-housewives-of-atlanta-kim-fields relate to her situation.  Kim’s situation is a married woman with children, while the girls are single, married with marital issues, or married and pregnant.  Although they are all in different places in life, does that mean they cannot hang out?  Absolutely not, but for someone like Kim who is obviously devoted to her marriage and family, it may be uncomfortable to gallivant with strangers, especially men, take body shots, and be shady toward each other.  I get that piece of it.  I don’t necessarily agree with the idea of just sitting at the bar and not socializing or not at least trying to mingle with the girls and enjoy herself.

So while I may not have done things exactly the way Kim did or go into random spurts of tears, I understand how the outing may have been uncomfortable and not relatable for Kim.  Of course Kenya and some of the other ladies, with the exception of Cynthia and Phaedra, may not understand Kim being homesick, but I would not necessarily judge her for it.  I would agree that The Real Housewives of Atlanta may not be the place for Kim if she doesn’t allow herself to open up just a little, but it is lovely to see a happily married woman strong in her convictions on marriage.

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A Letter To My Son’s Mother…


A Letter to My Son’s Mother…
 
If I said I wish I never met you, that wouldn’t be totally accurate.  If we had never crossed paths that day in September 7 years ago, then I wouldn’t have come to know the most precious gift I have ever been given, my son.  I do wish however, that I never knew and could easily forget this evil, malicious, vindictive, stop at nothing to hurt me, woman you have become.  Never would I have imagined that it would come to this; us “fighting” over something that you know is so dear to me and I that I though was dear to you.  Yet you lead this charge and have me doing something unimaginable; having to prove in court the type of father I have always been and that you and so many others know that I have been.  
I was the father who stayed at home for almost 2 years to take care of our son.  The father who changed diapers, fed him around the clock so you could get some sleep, never missed a doctor’s appointment, fixed breakfast and lunch for his daycare so we could save money.  I taught him things, helped with homework and projects, and took him to and from school.  I even regularly brought him to your job so you could spend time with him on your lunch break or so you could take him around to your coworkers.  You NEVER had to worry about the care our son was getting.  Up until you put me out, that was the way it had been.  All of a sudden it is like none of this ever happened and I have gone from being an “excellent father” to a “freeloading, irresponsible, “deadbeat” in a matter of months.  How???  Why???  I haven’t even been able to understand it yet.  
Yes our marriage didn’t work and I have long accepted and made peace with the part I played in that.  I have to live with the fact that I failed as a husband, at keeping the family together and for the broken promises, hopes, plans, etc.  But I have not failed as a father to my son.  I understand your hurt, anger, disappointment, and I can’t apologize enough.  But it has absolutely nothing to do with our son or the things I have done for him and with him up to this point.  I have always played a MAJOR role in his life and you know that.  But this is your way to make me hurt as much as you do.  Forget husband and wife, this is mother and father, and I’ll never understand how a mother could slander and defame a father who has done nothing but be there and provide for his son as best I could.  My son and I have a bond which it is well-known you have always been jealous of, and that is mind-boggling.  
All the fathers who aren’t there for their kids for whatever reason, and I have always been there and this is what I get???  You can’t hurt me anymore than you already have just by your words in your petition alone.  Forget the ACS allegation, sending the police to my house under false pretenses, making it difficult for me to see my son. The things you wrote BURN because you and everybody else know that it is the furthest thing from the truth.  Those words attempt to obliterate what I have done as a father and I know the place from which those words came.  I never expected this from the woman I was once married to, and everyone is blindsided by your actions.  People who had a relationship with you be it my parents, sister, brother, grandmother, friends, and neighbors are dumbfounded by the things you continuously do to attempt to alienate me from my son.  
I don’t expect an apology from you, as that time has come and probably gone for me to even accept one, but I should never say never.  You have put me through so much with regards to my son and I guess your reasoning would be that I put you through so much during our marriage.  But was it really that bad to warrant what you have become???  Yes I was “consistently inconsistent” but I was always consistent with the love, care, time, and attention that I gave our son and that’s what it should continue to be about, regardless of how we ended up…
 
Troy

The Holiday Serial Dater


A post from last year that remains true this year… Being a Holiday Serial Dater aka “Holidater,” is a Dating Don’t!! Happy Holidays 🙂

Dating Do's, Don'ts & Duh!!

Hello? Are you a man or woman who feels lonely during the holidays? Do you like inviting dates to holiday dinner? Do you bring women/men you casually date to holiday dinner? Do you bring a different date to holiday dinner every year? If you answered “Yes” to these questions, YOU ARE A HOLIDAY SERIAL DATER!! As a Holiday Serial Dater, you tend to bring whomever you are dating at the moment to holiday dinner. I thought this dating problem was appropriate since Thanksgiving is tomorrow and Christmas is approaching. So before you invite or bring your date to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, read this post in its entirety first. I hate to break this problem down to gender, but in my experience men tend to Holiday Serial Date so for the purposes of this post I will refer to men.

Family members of Holiday Serial Daters can predict a new person will attend dinner. “Here…

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A Citation For Being Lame: Dating In Atlanta


First, let me explain the meaning of ‘lame’ because I’ve used the term quite often. ‘Lame’ is a man who is a cheater, liar, disrespectful, idiot, or just plain wack! (Do people still say wack?) Anyway, I recently encountered a ‘lame’ who is a cheater, liar, an idiot, and definitely wack!

About few weeks ago, an attractive police officer came to my place of employment to request information. In passing my colleague introduced us. Around the office I’m known as the “single lady,” so my colleagues try to hook me up. The officer is a good-looking man with a very nice smile, and of course the police uniform gave him a perk (there is something sexy about a man in uniform). He eventually told my colleague he would like to speak with me, and I obliged. I went to the lobby to talk to him, and before I could say hi, with his phone in hand he asked “Can I get your number?” His approach was less than attractive because he wasn’t smooth about it at all. I wasn’t really interested, just something nice to look at, but I gave him my business card and we parted ways. When I returned to my office, I told my colleague what happened, and the first words out of her mouth was, “Hold up I have to tell you about him!” Uh-oh!

Apparently Mr. Officer has FIVE kids, and a WIFE! Really? So you are a man of the law with five kids and a wife, yet you’re trying to hit on me? To make matters worse, he did not voluntarily share the information about his wife and kids. He initially lied to my colleague when she first asked him if he was married or had children (which are questions that are a part of the job), and he said NO! Not only is he a liar, but he is an idiot because as standard practice my employers retrieved his tax information. Mr. Officer’s taxes are how it was discovered he was married with five children. Who does that? Lames do that!  Although I was not interested in dating him, it was just nice to see attractive testosterone around the office, I was insulted by Mr. Officer’s actions. What if I was interested in him? Did he really think I would not find out about his wife and multiples? Furthermore, he begged my colleague not to tell me about his family situation. He is by far the most disrespectful lame I have met. He did not disrespect me because I could care less, but he disrespected his wife and kids.  As a father you should never deny your children! As far as denying the wife, unfortunately some men do that all the time. You better believe, if he didn’t want me to know about his family, he probably will not tell the next woman he pursues.  He is now aware that I know about his family situation, which is why he has not called me and he better not!!!

A former friend of mine used to keep her kids a secret from men she was interested in. Her fear was that men would not be attracted to a single mother of two. It is the ultimate lame act to deny your children for the sake of a date or rendezvous. Mr. Officer is more than lame for doing what he did, and I hope women are careful with lames like him. You would think a man with five kids and a wife does not have a lot of time to play, but who knows. He may be fooling his wife pretty good and fooling his mistress’. Ladies be careful, and don’t be fooled! Fellas be smart and at least don’t be stupid cheater…especially if the woman you are trying to fool has access to your tax information. LoL!! You deserve a citation for being lame!!