Dating in Atlanta

RealiTea: Don’t Be Mad At The Happily Married Housewife Of Atlanta

Last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta was quite entertaining in typical Housewives fashion.  The episode had fashion (tacky or cute is left to be determined), instigation (Kenya as always is messy), and a meltdown (poor Kim just couldn’t get it together).  While the premise of last night’s episode did not venture far from what Housewives show is about, there was one theme that is fairly new.  The theme is Kim Fields and her happy marriage.  It is rare to see a happy marriage portrayed on The Real Housewives of anything, or at least a marriage that is not plagued with divorce or infidelity rumors.  It was quite refreshing for me, a newly married woman, to see a married woman who desired to be with her husband.  As for the flack that she received, I did not quite appreciate that.

Yes Kim was annoying with her crying spells and she may have some social issues to work on, but her heart was in the right place.  I am all for a girl’s trip and letting loose with the girls every now and then, but I think the issue for Kim was that she was on a girl’s trip with women who did notreal-housewives-of-atlanta-kim-fields relate to her situation.  Kim’s situation is a married woman with children, while the girls are single, married with marital issues, or married and pregnant.  Although they are all in different places in life, does that mean they cannot hang out?  Absolutely not, but for someone like Kim who is obviously devoted to her marriage and family, it may be uncomfortable to gallivant with strangers, especially men, take body shots, and be shady toward each other.  I get that piece of it.  I don’t necessarily agree with the idea of just sitting at the bar and not socializing or not at least trying to mingle with the girls and enjoy herself.

So while I may not have done things exactly the way Kim did or go into random spurts of tears, I understand how the outing may have been uncomfortable and not relatable for Kim.  Of course Kenya and some of the other ladies, with the exception of Cynthia and Phaedra, may not understand Kim being homesick, but I would not necessarily judge her for it.  I would agree that The Real Housewives of Atlanta may not be the place for Kim if she doesn’t allow herself to open up just a little, but it is lovely to see a happily married woman strong in her convictions on marriage.



Taking Risks In Dating…

Yesterday I posted this comment on Twitter and Facebook: If we didn’t take risks, life would be boring #thinkaboutit. I started to think about some of the risks I’ve taken in my life, both professionally and in love. The professional risks I’ve taken in my latter twenties, have so far worked for me, rather than against me. I don’t have any regrets for some of the rash decisions I’ve made in the past because I honestly would not be where I am now. I have also taken risks in love, and sometimes it’s worked against me, but now it’s working for me.

Some of us are fearful to take risks, especially in love, because we have a fear of rejection. We are afraid of being vulnerable, misunderstood, and taken advantage of. Where did all this fear come from? The fear came from our past experiences of cheating, neglect, disrespect, and the list goes on. The fear may also come from seeing friends and family go through the pain of rejection. Rejection sucks, but it is definitely not the end of the world. Some risks can be the worst decisions you’ve made, but it is definitely not the end of the world. So ladies grow some tough titties, fellas grow some balls, and take risks with love!! Stop second-guessing your decisions in love for the sake of avoiding rejection. Guess what people? Rejection is a part of life! We all have been through heartache, we have felt pain, and guess what else we have all done? We have all moved on!

I told myself I would not create resolutions this year, especially dating resolutions, so I’m calling this a goal for 2012. One of my goals for 2012 is to go out and get it! When I meet someone I enjoy and like, I am not going to deny it to myself nor him (get your mind out the gutter lol). As with everything in life, we of course have to be smart, but I am tired of holding myself back from love. Sometimes I put up walls or use defense mechanisms to avoid sharing how I really feel. I am tired of doing that! I am tired of thinking so much, rather than doing. I am inviting love into my life, and if I get rejected, then I will pick myself back up like I have done many times before. I cannot live life with fear, and I hope you all don’t either. Living with fear creates a boring and unexciting routine, but taking risks creates opportunities and change. I am all about practicing what I preach, so I’d like to share with you some of the risks or goals I have achieved thus far.

I’m single and I mingle…alone: I am so proud of myself for doing things on my own, and not allowing the availability of my girls stop me, from doing ME!

I’m single, but not for long (I am claiming it! LoL): I am taking a risk on love, and I am putting my heart on the table with someone who has shown me nothing but time and attention. This may be THE best risk I’ve taken! Only time will tell… 😉

A Citation For Being Lame: Dating In Atlanta

First, let me explain the meaning of ‘lame’ because I’ve used the term quite often. ‘Lame’ is a man who is a cheater, liar, disrespectful, idiot, or just plain wack! (Do people still say wack?) Anyway, I recently encountered a ‘lame’ who is a cheater, liar, an idiot, and definitely wack!

About few weeks ago, an attractive police officer came to my place of employment to request information. In passing my colleague introduced us. Around the office I’m known as the “single lady,” so my colleagues try to hook me up. The officer is a good-looking man with a very nice smile, and of course the police uniform gave him a perk (there is something sexy about a man in uniform). He eventually told my colleague he would like to speak with me, and I obliged. I went to the lobby to talk to him, and before I could say hi, with his phone in hand he asked “Can I get your number?” His approach was less than attractive because he wasn’t smooth about it at all. I wasn’t really interested, just something nice to look at, but I gave him my business card and we parted ways. When I returned to my office, I told my colleague what happened, and the first words out of her mouth was, “Hold up I have to tell you about him!” Uh-oh!

Apparently Mr. Officer has FIVE kids, and a WIFE! Really? So you are a man of the law with five kids and a wife, yet you’re trying to hit on me? To make matters worse, he did not voluntarily share the information about his wife and kids. He initially lied to my colleague when she first asked him if he was married or had children (which are questions that are a part of the job), and he said NO! Not only is he a liar, but he is an idiot because as standard practice my employers retrieved his tax information. Mr. Officer’s taxes are how it was discovered he was married with five children. Who does that? Lames do that!  Although I was not interested in dating him, it was just nice to see attractive testosterone around the office, I was insulted by Mr. Officer’s actions. What if I was interested in him? Did he really think I would not find out about his wife and multiples? Furthermore, he begged my colleague not to tell me about his family situation. He is by far the most disrespectful lame I have met. He did not disrespect me because I could care less, but he disrespected his wife and kids.  As a father you should never deny your children! As far as denying the wife, unfortunately some men do that all the time. You better believe, if he didn’t want me to know about his family, he probably will not tell the next woman he pursues.  He is now aware that I know about his family situation, which is why he has not called me and he better not!!!

A former friend of mine used to keep her kids a secret from men she was interested in. Her fear was that men would not be attracted to a single mother of two. It is the ultimate lame act to deny your children for the sake of a date or rendezvous. Mr. Officer is more than lame for doing what he did, and I hope women are careful with lames like him. You would think a man with five kids and a wife does not have a lot of time to play, but who knows. He may be fooling his wife pretty good and fooling his mistress’. Ladies be careful, and don’t be fooled! Fellas be smart and at least don’t be stupid cheater…especially if the woman you are trying to fool has access to your tax information. LoL!! You deserve a citation for being lame!!

It’s A Small World: Dating In Atlanta

I want to sing “It’s a Small World After All” after my interesting weekend. No I didn’t run into an old boyfriend or a past fling, rather I experienced something that would only happen to ME! Here’s what happened:

Thanksgiving day, Friday, and Saturday I mostly stayed in the house and rested (it’s rare I get to do that with my busy schedule). Saturday night, however, I was restless and I wanted to do something. After watching “Notorious” on BET and getting hyped up (NY baby!), I decided to go out…by myself. I wanted to dance and have a couple of drinks. I got dressed and went to a local lounge in Atlanta called ‘Taboo.’ The last time I went to a lounge alone I sat at the bar the entire night, but this time I felt different. I danced, mingled, and “Wobble Wobbled” (that’s my song by the way)! I also met two men…wait it’s not what you think…

The first guy who approached me was tipsy because he asked the same questions several times. He assumed I was visiting from NY, I guess because of my accent, and I didn’t bother to correct him. I went along with the ‘out of town’ story. He even gave me a different name. I told him my name was “Rasia,” but somehow he heard “Diya.” So for the night I was ‘Diya’ from New York. Eventually the tipsy guy wandered off, probably because I wasn’t local p!*#y (he gave me that vibe). So I went back to dancing and singing to the music, and it wasn’t long before I was approached by another guy. This guy was sober and pleasant, but I really wasn’t in the mood to talk. I just wanted to dance and have a couple of drinks. I was not interested in meeting someone new and adding him to my dating pool. So what did I do? I decided to run with the ‘Diya from New York’ story hoping he would wander off like the first guy since I wasn’t local p!*#y.

“What’s your name? : “Diya”

“Where you from?” : “New York”

“You live here?” : “No I’m just visiting for the holiday. I borrowed my cousin’s car and came out to meet up with some girlfriends (never disclose you’re alone).”

“Oh okay, when do you leave?” : “Tomorrow, my flight is at 12:00.”

“Damn I can’t even take you to brunch?” : “No, I’m afraid not.”

I had my story down! I really felt like I was visiting because the lie has bits of truth in it. After having small talk with him, I thought he was a cool guy. We danced and talked, but still I wasn’t interested him beyond the dance floor. At about 2:45AM Mr. Cool Guy and I said our goodbyes, but not before he asked for my number. Instead I took his number and told him I’d call to let him know I got home safely. I didn’t call him when I got home, but after Taboo I didn’t go straight home anyway. I went to WAFFLE HOUSE!! (That’s that down South ish & I love it!!) After the party, there’s a party at Waffle House, and yes I went by myself! You always meet ‘characters’ at Waffle House, so I definitely ended my night with a laugh!! I must say I enjoyed myself that night, and I was proud that I ventured out on my own.

WAIT!! The story isn’t over!

Sunday I ran a errands, which one errand was grocery shopping at Walmart. I walk down the frozen section aisle and who do I see?? Mr. Cool Guy from the night before! Ahhh shit, I’m supposed to be in New York by now!! Furthermore, I was supposed to call him too! What excuse could I come up with as to why I live in New York, but I’m at Walmart grocery shopping in Atlanta? I don’t think he saw ME, but I saw HIM! Especially because he wore THE SAME THING he had on the night before!!! So I tried to dodge him!! I pushed the cart so fast through the Kids section, hiding, ducking, and looking like an idiot! What would I say if he saw me? The ‘Diya from New York’ story was harmless, and besides what are the chances I would see the guy that I lied to the very next day!!! Again, this would only happen to ME! While in Walmart I called my friend for support (which her name happens to be ‘Diya’ LOL), and in between the laughter, she suggested I get out of there as fast as I could. It’s not like I was scared of the guy, but it was funny that I would see him the next day. What are the chances?? Atlanta is too small!! I thought I’d run into him at checkout, but I didn’t see him. But here’s the kicker…I get to the parking lot and can’t remember where I parked!!! Only ME?!?! I looked like even more of an idiot roaming through the parking lot with a shopping cart and pressing my alarm button to find my car. I didn’t see Mr. Cool Guy in the parking lot, but he was probably sitting in his car laughing at me, “Look at this bitch! Hahaha!” I learned a lesson last weekend: Don’t lie in Atlanta!! Atlanta is a small world! I’m not just saying that because of this situation alone, but you’d be surprised who you know, that knows someone else, that knows you (make sense? LoL). I know I will probably run into Mr. Cool Guy again because obviously he lives in the area for him to be at that Walmart, which is close to the lounge too. When that day comes I will tell him ‘Diya from New York’ is really ‘Diya in Atlanta.’ There’s no harm in lying about my name right?? LoL!!

There’s a new category: “Dating In Atlanta