August 2015 my life changed and the journey of married-life began. I transitioned from Ms. to Mrs. in what seemed like 30 minutes (at least the ceremony part), but it definitely is a long-term change. It has been three months since I married the love of my life and the question I am often asked now is, “How’s married life?” What a question!! I never really know how to answer that question. I don’t mind the question at all, but sometimes the response I get after my answer is sometimes annoying. If I say married-life is great, I may get the response “well you’re still in the honeymoon phase.” I sometimes try to beat them to the punch and say married life is work but worth it, and I’ll get the response of “It is only the beginning; it is A LOT of work, sacrifice…,” blah blah blah. So because of the feedback which has mostly been negative or alarming, unfortunately, I just say it’s great and move on. Sometimes the responses are meant to be funny or typical marriage banter which I too am guilty of, but then there are those who should not inflict their marital experience on me and mine (damnit! LoL). I am not one to shy away from relationship or marital advice, so that is not the issue at all. However, I do not particularly like it when people are negative rather than constructive; if they have to give any feedback at all. But I digress and I take it with a grain of salt. I understand where the question stems from because I too have been guilty of asking questions or saying cliché statements in response to life events. For example, I’ve asked couples when baby #1 or #2 are coming, which I since learned is a no-no and that is another conversation in itself, but for me it was just something to say. However, let’s discuss it; is married-life really different from the committed relationship life?
Absolutely there is a difference, which prior to marriage I didn’t think there would be. I always valued marriage and knew I wanted that to be the next step for me with the right person. However, after being with someone for years, I thought marriage would be the same in regards to the transition. However, marriage is like being a part of an organization, a prestigious organization. It is an organization where different rules apply, it’s a title of the highest order, and more importantly an oath that was taken before God is to be upheld. My husband and I were together 3 years before taking our vows and I thought it would be the same as we transitioned into married life, but it does feel different. For me personally I had to make a few changes after getting married. The first being changing my name. I took my husband’s name and I will admit it was quite emotional. For 31 years I was a ‘Middleton’ and now I took on a new name; a new identity of sorts. I had to change my license, bank accounts, and get used to saying my new name. Don’t get me wrong, I say my new name with pride and excitement, but the process of the name change was just that, a process. In addition to a new name, my priorities changed because the rules of sorts have changed.
I take the vows I took before God very seriously, so yes my priorities have changed. My relationship was a priority previous to marriage, but marriage changes the dynamics. I am now a WIFE! That is a big deal and I am proud to have this title. Maybe that should be my answer the next time someone asks me “How’s married life?” I will respond, I AM A WIFE!! Lol! I love being a part of the married “organization” and of course there is work involved, but what in life does not require work? If you want success, you have to work for it. Therefore, if you want a successful marriage, you have to work for it. So how’s married life? In a nutshell married-life is an honor, a lot of work, and a great “organization” to be a part of…with the right person of course! ♥
Whether you are newly married or have been married for quite a while, please share your experiences and advice. I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Guest writers are also welcome!