From Taboo to “I Do”


It’s been almost 6 months since my last post, and I have so much to share.  My last post was about chivalry and how women contribute to its decline.  Well that post and many others referenced personal experiences and dating/relationship lessons learned.  Well just as I’ve shared my dating and relationship experiences in the past, I want to share with you now that I recently got ENGAGED!!!  I couldn’t be more happy to embark on this new journey in my life.  I remember when I first wrote about meeting my fiance (Single Men Without Baggage…They Do Exist!!!) and as much as I can say I knew something was different about him, the encounter was all in God’s plan.  So allow me to tell you about our love story since in the aforementioned post I only briefly discuss our meeting at the end of the post.  If you are not familiar with my dating experiences and advice, there is always a message or lesson to take away.  So here goes…

May 12, 2012 was a Saturday night, and after an eventful Friday night out with the girls, I was not in the mood to hang out again.  My friend Jasmine called ready to meet up with friends to hang out and after a little coercion, I decided to go.  The place was called Taboo 2 and the music was good, but the environment fell short.  No literally every man in the place seemed shorter than me (no offense but tall men are my preference) and a lot of them wanted to talk to me and my friend.  We had fun though, danced, drank, and chilled.  In the moment of a drink re-up and while a guy was talking my ear off, there he was.  He was a friend of the guy talking my ear off and he interjected a couple of times to hurry his friend along.  Little did he know, he was saving me, but what caught my attention more than anything was his smile.  During his interjections he made small talk and smiled here and there.  I’ll admit the smile got me and after his friend finally got out of my ear, I felt compelled to speak to him.  Now I never approach men so I can’t begin to tell you what came over me in that moment, but I calmly approached him and said “I really want to talk to you.”  Because his friend just tried to talk to me, it felt a little awkward, but I didn’t care.  He of course did not want to step on his friend’s toes, so a little while after he found me, said his PhotoGrid_1410757026623name was Cee and slid me his number to give him a call.

I called Cee the next day and we talked for hours.  It was the most refreshing conversation!!! Of course we got to know each other and went through the typical first encounter questions, where are you from; what do you do; how many siblings do you have; etc.  Aside from that the conversation was so much more and that was very important to me.  From that first conversation, the rest is history.  We connected on a deeper level and the next thing you know we were in a relationship, then living together, and introducing each other to family members.  It all happened so fast, but it felt so right.  A cousin of mine feared we were moving too fast and I would get hurt and I distinctly remember telling her I am so confident in my feelings that I’m okay if it doesn’t work out and I fall flat on my face!  I wasn’t naive, but I had faith because he brought something different to the table.  We strengthened each other in many ways.  In the early stages of our relationship Cee suffered the loss of his mother which I discussed in the post “Strength of a Woman…Breast Cancer Awareness.”  It was a very trying time to see the man I love suffer in such a way and no matter how I tried, I could not make the pain go away.  It was difficult and took time and healing, but the experience brought us closer and confirmed that we can get through the tough times.

In two years we had experienced the good, the great, the bad, and the ugly of a relationship.  Some of the experiences did not have to do with us as a couple, rather it was life lessons, individual growth, and healing.  I always knew Cee was the one, so as surprised as I was when he proposed on August 9, 2014, I was confident to say “YES!”  It was the most precious moment in my life thus far as he proposed to me in front of over 150 of my family members at my family reunion.  Family is so important to me and it was beautiful he made the moment so special for me.  I am truly happy and I cannot wait to become his Mrs.!!!  So my love story may be a bit taboo to some because I approached him and I called him first.  I went against the grain and played by MY rule book.  It is okay to follow your gut sometimes, but be realistic and prepare yourself if the outcome is not what you expected.  I can’t begin to explain to you how confident I felt that night and the days after we met, but it was a great feeling.  Now my cousin laughs and we reminisce about the conversations we had when I first told her about Cee and our budding relationship.  Sometimes you just know…and I knew it!!  

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(Don’t laugh at my ugly cry 🙂 )

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6 comments

  1. At 7:45am You have me over here crying my eyes out and it’s too damn early for this….. Even though I know your story this was so beautifully written sis! You deserve every bit of happiness and i can’t wait for the wedding!

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