A Letter To My Son’s Mother…

A Letter to My Son’s Mother…
If I said I wish I never met you, that wouldn’t be totally accurate.  If we had never crossed paths that day in September 7 years ago, then I wouldn’t have come to know the most precious gift I have ever been given, my son.  I do wish however, that I never knew and could easily forget this evil, malicious, vindictive, stop at nothing to hurt me, woman you have become.  Never would I have imagined that it would come to this; us “fighting” over something that you know is so dear to me and I that I though was dear to you.  Yet you lead this charge and have me doing something unimaginable; having to prove in court the type of father I have always been and that you and so many others know that I have been.  
I was the father who stayed at home for almost 2 years to take care of our son.  The father who changed diapers, fed him around the clock so you could get some sleep, never missed a doctor’s appointment, fixed breakfast and lunch for his daycare so we could save money.  I taught him things, helped with homework and projects, and took him to and from school.  I even regularly brought him to your job so you could spend time with him on your lunch break or so you could take him around to your coworkers.  You NEVER had to worry about the care our son was getting.  Up until you put me out, that was the way it had been.  All of a sudden it is like none of this ever happened and I have gone from being an “excellent father” to a “freeloading, irresponsible, “deadbeat” in a matter of months.  How???  Why???  I haven’t even been able to understand it yet.  
Yes our marriage didn’t work and I have long accepted and made peace with the part I played in that.  I have to live with the fact that I failed as a husband, at keeping the family together and for the broken promises, hopes, plans, etc.  But I have not failed as a father to my son.  I understand your hurt, anger, disappointment, and I can’t apologize enough.  But it has absolutely nothing to do with our son or the things I have done for him and with him up to this point.  I have always played a MAJOR role in his life and you know that.  But this is your way to make me hurt as much as you do.  Forget husband and wife, this is mother and father, and I’ll never understand how a mother could slander and defame a father who has done nothing but be there and provide for his son as best I could.  My son and I have a bond which it is well-known you have always been jealous of, and that is mind-boggling.  
All the fathers who aren’t there for their kids for whatever reason, and I have always been there and this is what I get???  You can’t hurt me anymore than you already have just by your words in your petition alone.  Forget the ACS allegation, sending the police to my house under false pretenses, making it difficult for me to see my son. The things you wrote BURN because you and everybody else know that it is the furthest thing from the truth.  Those words attempt to obliterate what I have done as a father and I know the place from which those words came.  I never expected this from the woman I was once married to, and everyone is blindsided by your actions.  People who had a relationship with you be it my parents, sister, brother, grandmother, friends, and neighbors are dumbfounded by the things you continuously do to attempt to alienate me from my son.  
I don’t expect an apology from you, as that time has come and probably gone for me to even accept one, but I should never say never.  You have put me through so much with regards to my son and I guess your reasoning would be that I put you through so much during our marriage.  But was it really that bad to warrant what you have become???  Yes I was “consistently inconsistent” but I was always consistent with the love, care, time, and attention that I gave our son and that’s what it should continue to be about, regardless of how we ended up…


  1. This is so sad and unfortunate I can see him crying between the lines. Unfortunately when some women feel like they’re at war they take to weaponry tactics, holding sex hostage and in this case the son.

  2. Keep your head up my dude, Everything will work out eventually, unfortunately we can not change or control other peoples emotions especially if they have a feeling of hurt. I wish you nothing but luck/the best with this situation, your a good dude and no one deserves to go through something like this. All I can say is keep your faith in the big man up stairs and continue to do for your son. The bond that you have with him can never be broken, He will always love his dad no matter what, you don’t have to tell him anything negative about his mother because he will eventually see everything for what it is when he grows old enough to understand.

    Stay up my dude, live your life to the fullest, and don’t change who you are for no one.


  3. Wow. My heart hurts for you Troy because I know you’re an exemplary father. Nothing worse than a vindictive, bitter woman who can’t let go of her own hurt. No matter what happened between you two, she should not put the child in the middle. Hold your head as best as you can.

  4. Troy you know that you are the best father that your son could ever have. What she says doesn’t matter. What matters the most is what your son thinks of you. And I know that he loves you and appreciates you more than you know. So please don’t let her words let her words get to you. You are the meaning of a father. Don’t let anyone tell you different. I don’t understand women like her. There are so many dead beat want to be dad’s who don’t do anything or even try to be in their kids lives. You are not like that. So keep your head up cause you are doing a great job.

  5. Powerful message, my friend. Stay strong, and try to keep in mind that the only person’s opinion that counts, as far as you being a father, is your son’s. His opinion may not matter to the courts at his young age, but it will make a world of difference in the future. Good luck to you!

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