Almost two years ago I posted the article “The 28 Year Old Itch.” At the time I was 28 and single, so the article addressed my concerns about approaching 30 and being single at 30. “I [embrace] my age, but I [am] subconsciously concerned about being 30 and single and I [am] scared at how fast time is moving. Let’s be real, no matter how strong and independent a woman is, she wants to love and be loved” (The 28 Year Old Itch). About six months later I met the love of my life. I love him and I am being loved. Although my love life was blessed before 30 like I hoped, I still felt unsettled approaching my 30th birthday.
I turned 30 on August 28, 2013, and I can’t express to you how confused I was. I was unhappy and dissatisfied with life. Yes God gave me a great man to share life with, but I am 30 and not married. Yes God helped me overcome tragedy, but I could be so much farther in life if tragedy didn’t occur. Yes God blessed me with a roof over my head and money to pay the bills, but I’m supposed to have house by 30. Yes God did and He is still doing for me, yet I am STILL not satisfied. Why? Society, which trickles down to family and friends, put so many expectations on women. Women are supposed to get married, have 2.5 children, and have a career by the time they turn 30. These expectations seeped into the subconscious level of my mind, and became my ‘To-do’ list.
I had so many emotions, and I beat myself up every day because I felt nothing I accomplished thus far was good enough. I was depressed. I wanted to be happy, but my thoughts would not allow me to be happy. I read motivational quotes and stories in an attempt to rejuvenate my spirits, but my thoughts did not allow me to be motivated. I was thinking too much! Eventually I got to a point where I was tired of being tired, and I just let go. I allowed myself to go through the motions and live day-to-day. I stopped thinking about age, marriage, kids, my past, my present, my future, etc. I literally let go and let God.
It was refreshing to let my expectations go, let my fears go, let my disappointments go. I felt so free when it happened. I feel free!! Words cannot describe how truly bad I felt at that time, and what a burden was lifted off me when I released everything!! I feel like a different person. My 30 journey is only a few months old, but I embrace my age and my new freedom. If this is what 30 is, then I am all for it! My sis recently told me so far her 30’s has been the best years of her life. I am excited to see what God has in store for me.
I chose to share my struggle with 30 because I know there is a woman out there struggling with 30. She may be approaching 30, she just turned 30, or she may just be in a slump. She/You are not alone! Whether you are single or married, stop setting expectations for what your life is supposed to be. Enjoy life as it is! Do not worry about things God has control of. Love with common sense and live life simply; simplicity is everything! ♥