As an African-American woman it is not my goal to perpetuate
stereotypes within my culture, but as a dating blogger it is my responsibility to discuss all aspects of dating . The idea of this post derived from a conversation with a few of my girlfriends. The conversation was about the difficulty in dating light-skin men. Specifically my experience with dating light-skin men involved an arrogant and holier than thou attitude. It was a turn-off, and subsequently I avoided dating light skin men. Of course all light-skin men are not the same, but I reacted based on my dating experiences. It was obvious my friend’s also reacted based on their few experiences dating light-skin men. Hence why I call it the “light-skin myth.” Ladies what are your thoughts?
And fellas what about light-skin women? Are light-skin women difficult to date? I had the same conversation with two male colleagues, who had opposing views about light-skin women and the light-skin myth. One colleague said light-skin women are in “high demand,” and act “snobbish.” He further explained that most African-American men desire light-skin women which is why he stated light-skin women are in “high demand.” My other colleague explained he prefers light-skin women because they don’t “have a chip on their shoulder like brown girls do.” He continued to explain that “brown girls are always mad about something.” This brings up another discussion entirely. Maybe brown-skin women are difficult to date. Now we have a brown-skin myth. Fellas what are your thoughts?
The root of light-skin/dark-skin myths and issues date back to slavery. I won’t delve into the history of light-skin/dark-skin issues, and would rather focus on the dating aspect of light-skin/dark-skin. Playing devil’s advocate, there is another perspective about dating light-skin men and women. Perhaps some dark-skin men and women do not feel comfortable or dare I say “worthy” of dating a light-skin man or woman. My friend once said “he’s light-skin so he probably has a lot of women coming at him; he’s not worried about me.” The comment was said with such belief as she told me about a guy she liked. Clearly light-skin men made her feel insecure and unworthy, and to no fault of light-skin men. It was her own personal issue. Similar to ignorant people who believe having a child by or with a light-skin person automatically produces pretty babies. Whaaaaaat???? It is the most absurd thing, but these beliefs exist. Hence why I had to check myself on my issues with dating light-skin men. It was wrong for me to categorize a selection of men because of a few bad experiences. However, these myths continue to exist and I am interested to hear what your opinions and experiences are.
As mentioned before, this post is a result of conversations with friends and colleagues. This is not meant to judge or bully light-skin men and women, or anyone for that matter. It is simply a conversation about dating, particularly within the African-American community. Similar discussions arose after the documentary “Dark Girls” debuted on the OWN network. After its debut I read a Facebook status from a guy who felt the documentary was a jab at light-skin women, and there was not enough conversation about the backlash light-skin women get in the African-American community. Whatever the opinion, I hope to spark similar discussion and interests in a respectful manner as it relates to dating and relationships. So what are your thoughts?
*Poll responses are anonymous*