Holiday Dating: Don’t Be Mad You Didn’t Get a Gift

Happy Holidays ladies and gents!!! I hope you all are enjoying this joyous time of year where love, laughter, and giving is in the air. It is a great feeling to give to those you love (and like), and see their faces light up from the gift you put thought into. What happens though when you’ve thought about someone, but they apparently did not think about you? (Uh-oh!) I see this happen all the time in dating, specifically during the newness phase. The newness phase is the one-month to six-month dating period where you are still getting to know each other, and everything is new. The problem with being in the newness phase during the holidays is people don’t understand holiday dating etiquette. So for those of you who are a little salty your interest did not buy you a gift, listen up!

  •   If you and your interest have dated for a month: Don’t Be Mad You Didn’t Get a Gift
  • If you and your interest have dated for at least three months: Don’t Be Mad You Didn’t Get a Gift
  • If you and your interest hit the five to six-month mark: Don’t Be Mad…Hold Up! (I’ll come back to this one)

The latter scenario is tricky, but the first two are not tricky at all. During the one to three-month period, you definitely should not expect a gift from your interest. This especially goes for the ladies (sorry ladies) because I have seen quite a few friends expect gifts during the holidays (birthdays too) from a man they’ve known for all of six weeks. It’s just not going to happen! Now don’t get me wrong, regardless of time, your interest of six weeks may buy you a present, but do not expect a present at such an early dating stage. If you give your interest a gift and do not expect anything in return, then there is no problem.  You cannot, however, be the type to give a gift and be mad he/she did not reciprocate.

There is nothing wrong with giving to an interest in the early dating stage, however be smart about what you give (again I’m talking to the ladies). Ladies, a man you’ve dated for six weeks does not need you to buy him an Xbox, Wii, or any other trendy electronics. If you’re in the spirit of giving to your new interest, what about a $20 gas card or a gift card? It shows you were thinking of him without breaking the bank, or looking like a suga-mama. The Xbox, Wii, etc. is too much thought for someone you’ve known short-term. Fellas the same goes for you, but I rarely see this problem with men. A woman you’ve dated for six weeks does not need a Tiffany’s necklace, bracelet, or any other trendy jewelry. For me, and this is just me (I know some ladies might think I’m crazy), would not want a man I barely know, to buy me jewelry so quickly. It is too much, too soon.

In either situation, however, it depends on where you and your interest are emotionally in the dating phase. If you feel enamored and damn near in love after a month, and the both of you are on the same page, then do you! I am talking to those who are not quite sure about their interest yet, they don’t know if he/she has potential, yet they’re shelling out big dough to impress him/her during the holidays. If that is what you do, then more power to you, but don’t get mad you didn’t get a gift! I prefer a brief discussion with an interest about whether we will exchange gifts or not, and I especially recommend during the newness phase. Also, assess your dating relationship, and how vested you both are in the dating relationship. When you buy a gift for a friend or family member, you correlate the level of the gift with the level of the relationship. I would not buy my co-worker a Wii or Tiffany necklace, but I would buy my brother a Wii or my friend of 15 years a Tiffany necklace. Use the same thought process in dating. Don’t over-do it on the gifts too soon, and if you do, don’t be mad you didn’t get a gift! 🙂



  1. I agree women set themselves up to get their feelings hurt! Whn im in the early dating phase i usually bring up the gift exchange convi sarcastically n see where his head is at and we go from there….. I love all your post n read them weekly! We think way too much alike lol!

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