In a recent post (Looking For: Single Female w/ No Kids) I discussed my desire to meet a single woman with no kids (for friendship purposes of course). Now that I think about it, I prefer the SW w/0 kids to be at least 25 years old. I hate to discriminate, but honestly my idea of good time is probably different than that of an 18 or 21 year old. Anyway, my point is I put an ad out (so to speak) for someone who shared my same lifestyle. Although I have yet to meet this person(s), I decided to try something new and ‘mingle’ on my own. Last Sunday my friend invited me to his event, and immediately I hesitated because I didn’t have a friend available to come with me. The invitation was spontaneous, and I don’t have friends I can just ‘spring’ plans on. So my friend tried his best to reassure me the atmosphere would be fine, and I wouldn’t feel alone. His theory was I’d meet a male suitor and forget I was alone. I went back and forth for a while, and finally I agreed to attend my friend’s event…alone. Honestly the accountability factor actually pushed me to go to the event. Since I told my friend I was going, I had to go.
Who would have thought attending a lounge alone would be so nerve-wracking, but it was. I usually go to events in twosomes or in a groups, so to go alone was definitely out of my element. I mean it was really out of my element! The moment of truth came when I pulled up to the venue and saw mounds of people on the balcony mingling and laughing. It seemed like everyone knew everyone else, and I was going to be the loner (uh-oh). Luckily that night I wore my big girl panties, and I just went for it! I walked into the venue, and immediately I got the stares. Was it because I was alone, or did I just look that good?? I’m not sure, but I ignored the stares by going straight to the bar. I figured having a drink would ease my nerves. Fortunately while waiting for my drink, a seat became available at the bar. I didn’t move from that seat for the rest of the night! Sad I know, but I have to take baby steps. Maybe next time I will actually ‘work’ the venue. I did, however, meet the guy sitting next me after he offered to pay for my drink. He wasn’t the type to buy my drink and push up on me. He even purchased a drink for another female, and seemed to be there for the music and to have a good time. We talked, I met his friend (I’ll go into further detail about this guy in another post), and overall I had a good time. I eventually met up with my friend who was the host of the event, and he was happy to see I was having a good time. I said goodbye to my new bar buddies, and the rest of the evening I hung out with my friend.
I am so proud of my first experience mingling alone. The experience was not bad at all, and I would definitely consider doing it again. I figured I’m already trying something new with the Dating Experiment, so why not try something else new. This may be my new theme in dating…try something new! I am single and I mingle…alone!
Safety Tips for Mingling Alone
1. Tell a friend/family member where you’re going and what time
2. Do all your business (hiding purse or valuables) prior to your destination
3. Park near the venue (Valet if available) or park in a well-lit area
4. Don’t make it so obvious you’re alone. Maybe send a fake text or look around the venue as if you’re looking for someone (believe me men can spot a woman who is alone)
5. Watch your drink (of course), but watch your limit (you know your drink limit, before things get crazy)
6. Leave the venue a little before the event is over. It’s best not to leave when the crowd is leaving, and frequently observe your surroundings when leaving.