Dating Don’t: Don’t Be Thirsty!

Being in the single-life can sometimes be lonely. (Any single person who says differently is telling a lie!) It’s only natural for a single person going through a “lonely phase” to subconsciously act out in desperation. I’m giving some single folks the benefit of the doubt because there are singles who consciously act out in desperation. Either way they are being thirsty. ‘Thirsty’ is slang to describe one’s recklessness, haste, or eagerness for something. For the purposes of this post, ‘thirsty’ is the eagerness for companionship or sex. In dating, being ‘thirsty’ is a big FAIL! I know, because as I describe in the post “It’s Not Always What It Seems,” I was a bit thirsty. To my benefit, thank goodness, I did not act on my hasty thoughts. (Who knew I’d get so excited over a good conversation with man? FAIL!) In dating, the person being thirsted after becomes agitated and annoyed by the one who thirsts. (I hope I didn’t lose you.) There is only one reason for the person being thirsted after, to put up with the one who thirsts. (More confusion, I know lol.) The one reason is this:

He or she can get what they want from someone who is thirsty: A woman dealing with a thirsty man knows that he will be available at her beckon call, and he will probably do whatever or most of what she wants him to do. A man dealing with a thirsty woman knows he can tell her anything, and she’ll probably put up with his BS. He also knows he has an easier chance at having sex with a thirsty woman.

Keep the desperation for a mate in check. Obviously relationships are desired, whether it be sexual or emotional, but being thirsty will only prolong the single-life. Let’s play a game of “You know you’re thirsty when… .”

Ladies “you know you’re thirsty when” as a first date you offer to cook or bring dinner to his place. To a man this is beyond thirsty! He either thinks she is horny and wants sex, or she is naive for putting herself in a vulnerable situation. She jeopardizes her safety by going to his home.

Fellas “you know you’re thirsty when” you call a woman three times within a five-minute time frame. Can we say stalker?? The act not only displays haste, but it gives a clue the man is controlling. If the man is not injured or dieing, there is no reason to call a woman three times within a five-minute time frame. If he is injured or dieing, he should call 911!!

Ladies “you know you’re thirsty when” as a first date you offer to cook dinner at your place. It’s the same reason as the first, but I’d like to put a twist on it. Fellas you also have to be mindful of your safety if a woman offers, as a first date, to come to your place or invites you to her place. The woman may be crazy and it may be a set up for robbery. I watch a lot of First 48 so you never know what situation you might walk into.

Fellas “you know you’re thirsty when” you tell a woman you are falling in love after a few dates. Really?? You’re already falling for her after a few dates? This year was the first time a man said this to me, and I was so amused. We had only been on a date once, and talked on the phone a few times. He knew nothing about me, but already he was falling in love. What a bunch of bull!! It was that experience which led me to write “Dating A Salesman: All Talk, No Action.” He was selling his “love,” but I sure wasn’t buying it!

Ladies “you know you’re thirsty when” you call a man, then text him “Did you get my call?” Ladies if you call a man, and he does not call you back, there’s a reason he has not called you back. There is nothing wrong with a follow-up phone call, but use your judgement in the situation. If you find yourself calling him constantly or sending texts like “I haven’t heard from you in a while,” or “You must be busy,” then you’re being thirsty. He got your call, but he didn’t want to talk to you. Duh!

Ladies and Fellas “you know you’re thirsty when” you settle! Ladies and gents make sure you’re not settling for less because you’re lonely. I talk about settling all the time, but I can’t stress it enough. Settling may temporarily satisfy your needs, but in the end you will be unhappy and thirsting for more. I’m not talking about physical attributes either, rather I’m talking about certain lifestyle and personality traits. Imagine a woman who is uncomfortable with the man who calls her three times within five minutes, but she chooses to date him anyway. She deals with his controlling ways because she’s lonely. That is settling and that is thirsty!

The conclusion is as simple as this: Think before acting and reacting hastily. Being thirsty will keep you single or result in settling. Dating Don’t!



  1. Great post, cousin! I would imagine that sometimes once you meet a person and really “connect” with them, there is a strong temptation to verbalize and/or otherwise display that you’re “into” that person. Anything less may feel like you are playing games or being cold or “fronting”. But I think there’s a fine line, like you said so that the message you send about your self is not one of desperation. The song “Making You Wait” on Jill Scott’s new album kinda sums it up… I’m makin’ you wait…I want to know that you’re worthy…I need to know if you’re crazy! LOL! I think she was talking about sex, but it definitely applies to holding back on letting needy emotions run the show when you just met someone.

    1. Thanks so much cousin!! And let’s not even talk about Jill Scott’s new album…can we say PHENOMENAL?? LoL! You’re right she probably was talking about sex in “Making You Wait,” but that song and others speak the truth on so many levels. Love it!!

  2. How do I not be thirsty? I been single 4ever and relevant as a Christian man for three years and found out that it wasn’t for me. So how do I find women who have the same interests as me (aka DTF) without trying too hard?

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