In previous posts I’ve shared my bad and absolutely worst dating experiences, and I’ve shared some dating tips. However, in this post I want to share a dating experience, or rather an encounter, that left me feeling puzzled. This time I need your dating tips. This is the situation…
Last weekend my girlfriend and I went to a local lounge for drinks where I met a guy named “Eric.” As I ordered a drink from the bar, Eric asked what I was drinking. I responded “Rum and Coke,” and from there the conversation took off. Eric said he and a friend came to support another friend, who is the owner of the lounge. We each discussed how we don’t go out as often as we did in our late teens and early twenties. At this point we talked about age, and he is 38 years old. We discovered our birthdays are three days apart. He asked if I had children. I replied “No,” and he said “You’re a rare commodity.” I also asked him about children, and he said “No,” which I of course say “No you’re the rare commodity.” (I do apologize for giving a play-by-play on the conversation with Eric, but I am trying to set the scene. Bare with me.) We discussed the desire to wait until marriage to have children, and if luck doesn’t have it, we at least hoped to be in a serious relationship. An in-depth conversation ensued about the possibility of not getting married, and whether or not I’d consider adoption or artificial insemination. It was a very interesting discussion. Although it may appear as a very serious conversation, it was quite the opposite. He complimented my smile and my eyes. We laughed, joked, and I thought we had chemistry.
The conversation led to the economy and employment. Eric mentioned he works two jobs and said “I have to work hard to support myself. It’s just me.” I replied something like “I agree. No one else will do it for you, so you have to support yourself.” After I made that statement, the conversation went LEFT! Eric said “You know because although I’m in a relationship, a serious relationship, we don’t live together, so I have to support myself.” Here is where I was puzzled. The conversation continued, which he talked about his girlfriend for what felt like five minutes. Finally my friend gestured it was time to leave, so Eric and I shook hands, and say goodbye.
The encounter with Eric puzzled me because the conversation was personal and I thought he randomly brought up the girlfriend. I assume in his mind he was merely having a conversation with me. However, in my mind I thought I was having a conversation with intentions to keep in touch or possibly go out in the near future. Like I said previously, I thought we had chemistry. Now I’m not sure what it was. The experience was an eye-opener because it was the first time a man sparked a conversation at a lounge, without intentions to date. I hope I don’t sound snootie, but I’m being honest. Of course I’ve had conversations with men without expectations, but the setting and circumstances were far different. I appreciated his acknowledgement of his relationship, his serious relationship, but I thought it was random in that moment. I didn’t know if he was putting me off. Am I looking too much into the situation? What do you think? Was it weird for a man in a serious relationship to spark such a conversation, or is it a lesson that men who are interested in getting to know me, may not be interested in dating me? (Damn that sounds snootie lol.) What I mean is, was it just conversation??