I’ve Been Had, Hoodwinked, Bamboozled!!


At a swanky Manhattan lounge I met a nice gentleman, which for the purposes of this post, I will call him “Marc.” Marc was good-looking with a charming smile. I don’t know how tall he was, but he was taller than me with my heels on, so that was good enough for me. He wore a dark grey suit with his tie slightly loosened and his square toe shoes were very stylish (yes fellas, women notice everything). I was immediately attracted to him. It was one of those situations where we eyed each other from a distance, and then he approached me at the bar and introduced himself. We went through the “what’s your name, do you come here often,” pleasantries, and at that time I discovered he works in the accounting field (I don’t remember his exact title, but needless to say, he gets paid). He expressed his love for travel, nice restaurants, and art. We exchanged numbers and made plans to go out the next weekend to his friend’s art gallery. I figured it was an opportunity to experience something new for a date, rather than the typical dinner and a movie. I was excited about the date, and intrigued to learn more about Marc.

That Friday Marc and I met in the city after work. I suggested having dinner before going to the gallery, but his idea of dinner was far different from mine. He wanted to “grab a quick bite to eat.” Apparently from the look I gave him, he got the clue I wasn’t happy with his idea. “A quick bit to eat” sounded like Wendy’s or McDonalds. He apologized and explained he drove to work that day and didn’t plan on parking in a parking garage. Therefore, he claimed he didn’t have enough cash to pay for both the parking garage and dinner. I was annoyed because it sounded like a lame excuse to me! He doesn’t have an ATM card or a credit card?? So I asked him “What can you afford?” He replies, “Well Hooters is a couple of blocks away.” At that moment I had two options. One option was to go home, and the other was to proceed with the date and get great material for the blog. Guess which option I chose? After all the bad dates I’ve had, I figured, what the hell, another one won’t kill me. I agreed to go to Hooters with Marc, who doesn’t have enough money for dinner and parking (this is how I will always remember him). I won’t go into detail about what happened at Hooters, but in a nutshell, Marc couldn’t stop looking at the Hooter girls, his conversation was bland, and he had the nerve to be arrogant! I assume he was embarrassed our first date was at Hooters, but he lost me with the comment “I had women say I was the best date they ever had.” FAIL!! He could have at least apologized or tried to explain, but his arrogance was not flattering.  I was reminded of the guy I dated from the post “Rotisserie Chicken, One Fork, and A Mattress – Worst Date Ever!!” It was hard to believe this was the same smooth man I met the week before, donned in a nice suit at a plush after hours lounge.

This experience was probably the second time I was hoodwinked, and bamboozled! Apparently I meet men who represent themselves one way, but on the date they are different people. Even if I gave Marc the benefit of the doubt that it was an “off night,” he was still WRONG! Any man with common sense would prepare for a date in advance – Dating Do! It is absurd to plan a date if your money is tight – Dating Don’t! Furthermore, it is common knowledge that time spent in New York City, is time spent spending money – Dating Duh!! Now here’s the lesson for the ladies, and particularly those who are “Updating Your Dating Pool.” Sometimes it doesn’t matter where you meet him, what he’s wearing, or how articulate he is; he may still be a LOSER! Luckily I’ve gotten to a point in dating where I expect the worst and hope for the best. It’s been a while since I’ve had a good date, but I know the time will eventually come. I haven’t given up! But until then, all I can do is laugh. HaHa!! 🙂

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17 comments

  1. totaly confused and lost lol

    how is he such a loser? because he didnt apologize for not having enough money to take u out to eat but still wanted 2 spend time with u at a place that he has a passion for?

    not overstanding lol

    1. “To each their own” as they say. It’s hard to capture an entire courtship or date into a post, however there were other elements that contributed to the “Loser” title, but at the moment I said “Loser,” I was merely speaking in general.

      However, I do have little to no tolerance for men who are unprepared for a date, especially if we made PLANS for the date. In my opinion some things are just common sense. If you ask me on date, you need to be prepared with cash or credit! “Marc” didn’t have a passion to eat at Hooters, it was just a matter of convenience because he said he didn’t have enough money to pay for food and parking.

      It wasn’t so much about the money, but rather there was something unsettling about his reasoning. We could have laughed and joked about the situation, but instead he chose to be arrogant and gloat about how his previous dates were satisfied. LOSER! LoL

      1. lol lol lol lol lol

        im sure Marc isnt that bad jus needs a little coaching, even kobe use 2 ride the bench 😉 lol

  2. Actually, I have a different outlook. First assumption I get was that because he was in the Accounting field you thought he had money…as it is proven that is not always the case. Your profession does not dictate your income and the clothes mean nothing. He may have invested in the gear and may only have those shoes and one or two good shirts and slacks. The 2nd thing was the guy did not invite you to dinner because he knew his funds were low, so why would you get mad at that? He invited you to where he could afford. You said that you invited him to dinner…umm so why not pay for it or go where he can afford to take you? Why would you get mad that he did not have money to take you to somewhere with a limited budget due to the cost of parking. Maybe it was just a nice gesture that he wanted to take you to the gallery even though he was on a budget.

    As for the rest “Marc couldn’t stop looking at the Hooter girls, his conversation was bland, and he had the nerve to be arrogant! I assume he was embarrassed our first date was at Hooters, but he lost me with the comment “I had women say I was the best date they ever had.” FAIL!! He could have at least apologized or tried to explain, but his arrogance was not flattering”

    I think Marc was doomed from the beginning because you started out expecting dinner with the evening. Now because I no you I no you are well worthy of all that you wanted on this 1st date however, there are a few things you could have covered BEFORE you went on the date.

    In your conversations leading up to the date you could have brought up the subject of going to eat. At that point he may have done what he needed to do to make it happen or rescheduled with you. I personally don’t see Marc as a loser at all except for the Hooters event and conversation. Sometimes I think we as females make big assumptions on what we expect from a man. I personally like the idea of a man that does not spend a dime on me for the first date regardless of the reason because the conversation is the most important thing to me. The conversation being bland may have been bland on the telephone and therefore, I would not have gone out regardless.

    As I read this I can think of a very nice guy who took a cousin of mine to McDonalds on a date. Although they were younger it was always a sweet gesture that reigns superior to me. Sometimes you miss out on the simple things in life because we expect certain things. Men do not know what we want if we do not tell them.

    Last thing, I have a very well off (well quite a few) male friend who is good looking. Well of meaning well over six figures. He has 4 cars a BMW, ESCALADE, VIPER and his college car which is a 2000 Toyota. He lived in a BEAUTIFUL condo with 4 floors and the 5th would let you out on the roof where the set up was just sick!! He would take women out to fine dining, take them on awesome dates and one day he and I had a great discussion about his dates. I told him the next date he went on don’t take the girl to his house, take her on a date where he ordered a peanut butter sandwich, drive the Toyota and by all means do not wear anything name brand. I told him to get to know her without spending more than $10 per date for a month. The conversations were great and the girl was confused because to her he was a dreamer and she had a PhD driving an expensive car and her friends kept telling her she could do better. He actually chose to do this for 3 months instead of one because he didn’t believe a women would not be tripping. She even treated him to a nice place to eat where his dinner was $60.00 alone. Her friends and family were PISSED!!! He did not lie about what he did which was work for the railroad but he down played his title. The outcome…6 months later she got a ring along with all the other benefits that comes from a brother who was actually OVER the ENTIRE railroad system in Texas. All because she gave him a chance….Sometimes, we can’t judge where folks are when we don’t know where they are going. Needless to say her family and friends smile all in his face….PEOPLE…lol

    Just a LONG other perspective,

  3. WOW! Where should I dive in first LoL.

    Yes because he was in the Accounting field I assumed he did well financially. I believe we all do that, at least most of do. I’m sure if you told friends and family you were dating a neurosurgeon, they’d probably assume he’s wealthy. That’s just society’s nature. And you’re absolutely right, his appearance could have been a cover-up, but I mentioned his appearance because that is what caught my eye, not because I thought he had money. It’s not about the money!

    In regards to dinner. I was not “mad” because he didn’t have money. I was annoyed (I like that word better) because as stated “I suggested we go to dinner before going to the gallery.” We had plans to go after the gallery, but since we had both just gotten off work, I suggested we go before. So when he said he didn’t have enough money, yes I was puzzled. Furthermore, I researched the gallery prior to the date, and there was a charitable entry charge. Who was paying for that? The only thing that was free at the gallery was the wine. Ha! Keep in mind the events were pre-planned, so it’s not all about the money!!

    Now the date to McDonald’s is nice, if that’s what you’re into. I will strongly admit that I prefer NOT to date man who think McDonalds is a date. I appreciate the simple things, but that’s a little too simple for me. But that’s just me LoL.

    In regards to your friend. $10 per date sounds good, but again it’s not all about the money. In the end I make a point that if you have plans for a date, to be prepared. Soooo if you invite me to a picnic, but you don’t bring food, Yes I will be annoyed! That was my point. Furthermore, when he talked about his travels and fine dining, of course I didn’t think Hooters was appropriate. That was my point. Again, it’s not about the money!!!

    Sorry my point was unclear, but as I mentioned to another reader, it’s hard to capture an entire courtship or date into a post. Besides, I may have dating expectations that differ from yours and others. I expect a man that is 30+ to have his ish together when he asks me on a date, especially a pre-planned date. But that’s just me! 🙂

  4. Ok so there were other reed flags that you could not write so there may have been things that you saw besides that but, the emphasis seemed to be on the lack of him having funds for the dinner. Learned a long time ago that your title for your job does not mean a thing, nor guarantee you make or have money. When I read your post it documented ” We exchanged numbers and made plans to go out the next weekend to his friend’s art gallery.” did not mention the dinner at all. Now if the dinner was with the original invitation or
    during conversation before the date I can understand where you are coming from but, I didn’t actually read that in there.

    Now I can admit a DATE for me would not be McDonalds or any chain restaurants either however, my age range is different and financial expectations are also very different.

    Again, since I missed the information about the dinner being apart of the introduction to the date so I recant my response…lol

  5. Wow! Is all I can say! I live in Atlanta and a quality date is an endangered species. I understand thedatingds blog post and I understand where she is coming from completely. It isn’t about the money. Call me old fashion and yes I am a Southern Belle with high expectations. If a man approaches me and invites me to an event, I expect him to be prepared. As a grown man, I expect him to be prepared. He knew when he woke up that morning that he planned a date, and he knew that he drove his car into the city. So why was he unprepared to pay for parking? First FAIL! Secondly, we all put on our very best when dating a new person. First impressions are everything and Hooters does not scream Art Gallery. And definitely not a first date. A woman likes to feel special and well thought of…he put no effort into being prepared for his date and then wanted her to accept his last minute efforts. What does that say about him in a relationship? FLAG! …@ Faith Walks, I find it unfortunate that your friend results to spending only $10 on a date is ridiculous…glad he got a woman, but if men did not brag up front about what materialistic things they had, it would be harder for women to come after their assets. Some men share too much info and are so eager to invite women to their homes. Personal things such can remain a mystery for a little while.

    1. “…we all put on our very best when dating a new person. First impressions are everything and Hooters does not scream Art Gallery. And definitely not a first date.”

      Yes!!! You hit the nail on the head! Hooters and art gallery are totally opposite. Of all the restaurants in NYC, Hooters??? A mess!

  6. There are some great comments being posted here, I agree with Faith on a lot of things barring the extra info, but what I do want to question is why Ms ATL felt it was “unfortunate” for the man to do that $10 date thing…I do something to that affect and I am no where near as successful as he is. Yes there is a line between flaunting $ but at the same time a woman should deserve perks, not just get everything shown to her upfront, my process is time is money, and both are very valuable to me a lady has to earn both of them but time i can give up 1st….Im gonna just keep this short cuz I have my full response video being posted tomorrow.

  7. All the comments are great, and I love feedback whether you agree or not. Since the “extra info” has been mentioned, I will share. The only “extra info” is that “Marc” and I had plans to go to dinner after the gallery, and I suggested we go before dinner.

    I left out the “extra info,” however my thoughts are the same. Most readers are focusing on the money and Hooters, which are essential points, however there were other issues that were missed.

    “Therefore, he claimed he didn’t have enough cash to pay for both the parking garage and dinner. I was annoyed because it sounded like a lame excuse to me! He doesn’t have an ATM card or a credit card??”

    This was a red flag and in my opinion a lame excuse because he emphasized “cash” as if there were no other option. Furthermore, has anyone been to Hooters lately? Unless you’re getting a special, the food adds up, so I found it odd that someone with such a limited budget, would suggest Hooters out of all the other inexpensive restaurants in NYC. It did not make sense.

    I agree with ATLDiva and her thoughts about the $10 date. It sounds to me that Faith Walk’s friend was dating the wrong women. It’s not about the money to all women, which he later learned from the woman he eventually married. I just find it silly to test women with a $10 date because he previously dated the wrong women. I’ve dated a man with a BENTLEY, and guess what, we only had two dates…by MY choice. I think the friend finally met someone who didn’t care about the materialistic things, but I disagree it was because of the Toyota and $10 dates.

  8. In regards to the $10 date I think u fail to realized the differences of the screening process in dating you talk about the loser men and ur dating process is to weed out the losers additionally some women also think most men are talking to them only for sex so they will make up rules of no sex on 1st date, 90 days whatever as a “test” in the dating screening process so women screen for the abundance of thirsty losers on the flipside with men there’s an abundance of gold diggers wether the man is flashy and flaunts his $ or a lil more reserved women still noticed and a seasoned gold digger can still spot him even with out the flash…I’m on the conservative side but when I step out I often here “u look like a million bucks” cuz I know how to put pieces together and I buy quality so that coupled with my response for what I do for a living nets me a lot of gold diggers

  9. Think about it like this…if a woman has the “traditional” expectation that a man pays on the first date, just as women looks at dating as an investment of their time – men probably look at dating as an investment of both their time AND money. If you think of the number of people you have to date just to find someone you’re even remotely interested in – that can get expensive. You could say that’s the cost of being in business, but why does it have to be? If women thought about that when they were evaluating a guy and if they would like to be spending their money the same way, they might understand why a man only wanted to invest minimally on a first date. I thought the art gallery idea was pretty creative. I too love a man w/ a plan and that’s a good first date plan – a little culture.

    Now the Hooters thing – FAIL. If the personality wasn’t right – can’t do much about that either, but don’t discount a guy because his first date idea isn’t what you thought it should be…

  10. I understand and appreciate all of your points of view. I believe we all are viewing the date from very different perspectives. Obviously I am biased because I experienced the date. I understand and agree with the investment theory, however the money was not the issue. He suggested a “quick bite to eat,” which for me means fast food, so yes I gave him a puzzled look. From there he could have taken me to a Cafe, and I would have been satisfied. He really didn’t have to mention his parking dilemma. He brought up money, I did not. I didn’t ask for, nor did I expect an expensive meal.

    Hooters was a FAIL, but his personality and misrepresentations about fine dining added fuel to the fire. Anyone who knows me, knows I can find humor in any situation, but his arrogance didn’t help him at all. Duece Duece called me picky, and he might be right. If you represent yourself one way, and show me the extreme opposite, especially on the first date, I doubt a second date will be in the future. Who knows, I may have missed out on a nice guy, and from the responses it appears he’d get a second chance. I had seen and heard enough, and he just wasn’t the guy for me.

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