The Hair-Raising Question…

Long, short, natural, or weave, men what’s your preference for women and their hair? Receding hairline, cornrows, bald, or curly, ladies what’s your preference for men and their hair? Two hair-raising questions in dating, that are majorly important to some and minuscule to others. What does it all mean? It means because a man has a receding hairline, he may not be appealing to certain women. It means because I wear a weave, I may not be appealing to certain men. Whoa!! Yes it’s true, and honestly it took some time for me to accept the ‘hair issue.’ I used to be offended if a man said he preferred to date a woman with natural hair. I didn’t understand the problem. Underneath my weave I was ALL natural baby! (Lol) I soon realized, however, that the ‘hair issue’ was purely about preference. It seems strange to say, but a person’s hairstyle choice can either limit or broaden their dating prospects.

“Wear your hair, don’t let your hair wear you.” The meaning of the phrase is that a person shouldn’t let their hair define who they are. While it’s a wonderful theory and one that I absolutely believe in, I do think in dating especially, a person’s hair does sort of define him/her. The initial approach in dating is all about appearance and attraction. A person’s dress gives an inkling of their style, and the same is true for a person’s hair. Hair, like so many other factors in dating, boils down to preference. For every type of hairstyle or hair trend, there is a man or woman who has a preference either for that type, or against it. As I previously mentioned, it took me a little while to adjust to the idea that there are men out there who will purposefully pass me by because I wear a weave. As silly as it sounds, I can’t be mad at that. Why? Because I have preferences of my own when it comes to men and their hair. I am not attracted to men with cornrows and a receding hairline. Now I’m not saying I would completely ignore this type, but I wouldn’t necessarily be attracted to it. Some people may argue I’m limiting myself. They are probably right, but my preference in a man’s hair, is comparable to my preference in the number of children a man has. One thing I’ve learned in dating is you have to know what things you’re willing to be flexible with, and what things you’re unwilling to compromise. I’m flexible on hair, but for others hair cannot be compromised.

I think men have more of a ‘hair issue’ when it comes to dating, then women do. Men may be more picky regarding women’s hair because women have  more hairstyle options than men, and they have certain perks they want to experience. Chris Rock talks about these ‘perks’ in the 2009 documentary Good Hair. Taking a shower together, and running his fingers through her hair. I know a man who absolutely refuses to date a woman with a weave simply because he won’t be able to run his fingers through her hair. It’s something so minimal, but for some men it’s a big deal. I don’t think women have any ‘perks’ to look forward to regarding men and their hair, so I guess that makes the pickings a little less complicated. The discussions I’ve had with friends, mostly men, about hair have been interesting, which is why I was compelled to discuss it. So you tell me, how much does hair matter to you?



  1. This is a funny post.

    I would never date a man with a perm, s-curl, kit, dreads, receding hair line, or afro. I used to like braids during the early 2000’s (but that, of course, is played now).

    I like the low cut caesars with the deep waaaaves. (Had to take it back to the Destiny’s Child days) Lol! But seriously, you can’t go wrong with that. Nothing sexier than a clean cut man.

    1. LOL @ your list, and I totally agree! I can’t date a man with hair straighter than mine (perm), and even Diddy got rid of the s-curl lol.

      I forgot one thing though…I can’t tolerate a man who puts dye along his hairline and beard. He’s not fooling anybody by coloring his scalp! Dating Don’t! 🙂

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