Rotisserie Chicken, One Fork, and A Mattress – Worst Date Ever!!


This week I thought I’d share the story about my worst date ever and boy do I have a story to tell you! It’s a little funny, but it’s also something some men can learn from. So here goes…

A few years back I met a guy while out with one of my girlfriends. I can’t remember how we eventually began talking, but I did like him and I was interested to see how far things would go. We had good conversations, shared the same interests, and he was a looker too. He was tall, dark, great body, and he had a very sexy smile. I thought I found a winner! Several dates and several conversations later, he invited me to his place to cook dinner for me. (Uh oh!) I accepted the invitation after he went on-and-on about his “skills” in the kitchen. He talked himself up quite a bit, but I figured I was in for a good meal. The day of the dinner was a big deal for the both of us. He called earlier in the day to tell me he was at the supermarket preparing for the dinner and he sounded excited. I was eager to see his home for the first time, but a little nervous because it was our first time in an intimate setting. Nonetheless I told my girlfriend where he lived (for precaution), and I went to his apartment anticipating this “big meal.”

Where do I begin? I walked into his apartment and the first thing I notice is the missing furniture. The living room was bare with the exception of a standing lamp in the corner. I asked if he recently moved in, and he said he’d been there about six months. The place was so empty he didn’t even have pictures on the wall, so I was leery. I hung out in the kitchen with him while he finished preparing the meal. When the food was ready, he told me to go in the bedroom and he’d bring it to me. Let me explain. He didn’t have bar stools for us to sit on in the kitchen so we were going to eat in his bedroom (mmmhmm) since the TV was in there. I told myself “go with the flow,” and I tried to keep an open mind. My little pep talk to myself failed once I got to the bedroom. This man had zero furniture in his room. What the hell? The TV was sitting on some type of cart and his bed was two mattresses on the floor…no box spring, headboard, or even a comforter set. I was completely caught off guard! I would have never thought that the man I had hung out with all that time, was living such a meager lifestyle. Immediately I thought “how can I get out of this?” I asked to use the restroom, which at least had a shower curtain, but otherwise it was empty. Obviously I didn’t feel threatened, but I knew I wouldn’t stay long.

I went back into the bedroom and waited for him to bring the food. So now I’m sitting on this mattress that’s on the floor, so It feels like I’m sitting on the floor. He comes in with a plate and I was confused. On the plate was a rotisserie chicken and a baked potato. This was the meal he said he was going to “throw down” on? First of all he bought the rotisserie chicken already cooked…like the ones from Walmart. Second of all, the baked potato wasn’t anything fancy. It was literally a heated baked potato and I don’t even think it had butter or sour cream on it. But if that wasn’t bad enough, here’s the kicker. He only had ONE fork! ONE plate and ONE fork! I can’t imagine what my facial expression was, but I know I was completely shocked. He had me hold the plate and the fork and sat down like he was waiting for me to eat my portion, so he could have the rest. What kind of bullshit was that??? I politely told him I wasn’t hungry anymore and gave him the plate and fork. You would think he would have gotten a clue, since eating dinner was the reason I came over. But no he didn’t get the hint and he kindly took the plate and fork and started eating. YES! He tore up the rotisserie chicken, broke it apart and started chowing down! I was disgusted and I told him I had to leave. The sad thing about it was he really did not understand the problem. I was done! I didn’t have time to teach a grown man about dining and dating etiquette, especially if it’s something as simple as “everyone should have their own plate and fork!” In the future, however, I will write a post about the importance of home decor and presentation before inviting a date over. It’s clearly necessary since some men don’t have a clue!

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10 comments

  1. Hahaha now that is hilarious, now I do understand it taking some time for a guy to get “settled in” with furnishings as my bedroom is still a mess after being there 6 months now I would never invite a date over, if my place was as described I wouldn’t even invite friends/fam over I made sure to stay at MOMs a lil extra longer so I could save up for atleast the basic furnishings…I hope u the blog about home decor and presentation is soon as I have not had a date over yet but could use the advice in te near future

  2. Wait. What?
    He really wanted the two of you to share a meal off of the same plate? While sitting in his bedroom. His empty bedroom. Not even a comforter to cover his mattress thread. While watching TV. And eating the pre-cooked chicken, and dry potato? The kind you heat up in the microwave for ten minutes. Really? Where do they breed these types? Glad you bounced when you did! Did you ever hear back from him?

  3. Girl I don’t know where he was bred from, but I think he knew he was a mess bc I didn’t hear from him until months later, which I ignored his call. What could I say to him after an experience like that? And what could he possibly have to say to me except for “I apologize.” I hope for the sake of his love life that he eventually got it together, but sadly there are women who would settle for that mess. Not me!! LoL

  4. He clearly was use to dating girls with absolutely no standards and thought he could pull the same shit on my girl… HA not a chance! 🙂 Was he raised by wolves?

  5. Lol! I don’t know who raised him, but he definitely wasn’t taught any kind of etiquette or common sense. And yes he clearly did not know who he was dealing with! It was a mess, but it gives me something to laugh about now. At the time is wasn’t so funny though. LoL

  6. Girl, I remember this horrific date. I think we were roomies at that time. Nonetheless, it still cracks me up when you re-tell the dating disaster. Lol!!!

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