Yeah I said it! Women often blame men for certain relationship issues, and they should actually blame themselves. I’m talking about certain circumstances and situations of course. Don’t get me wrong some men are f*!#ed up for the f*!#ed up things they do, but it’s not always the mans fault and sometimes women have to find fault within themselves. The following are a few misplaced blames women put on men…
All men cheat: I don’t necessarily believe all men cheat, but I do believe men will go as far as you allow them to go. Forgiveness is great if you can get past infidelity issues, but if he continues to disrespect you and you’re aware of it, then whose fault is it if you stay in the relationship? If he is continuously cheating & you continue to accept it, you can’t blame him anymore. By that point he’s made it very clear how much he doesn’t respect you and the relationship. “But we have children together.” That’s often the reason why women feel they have to salvage the broken relationship. Sorry ladies…I disagree! When did it become okay for children to witness an untrustworthy and disrespectful relationship? Children aren’t stupid and they are very aware of your relationship issues and how you handle it. Parents are the most important factors in a child’s development. If they remain witness to a disrespectful relationship, they will either grow up with resentment towards you for lacking a backbone, or they may follow in the same bad habits of either parent. Focusing on your happiness & self-esteem is the best example for your children’s future.
All men are the same: No not really! You probably date the same type of men and that’s not his fault. You have to reflect on yourself to figure out why you either attract a certain type or why you’re attracted to a certain type. Each relationship you experience should be a gradual and positive change from one to the other. Your current boyfriend should be nothing like your last, especially if the relationship ended due to infidelity, verbal/physical abuse, possessive behavior, etc. So if you find yourself dating the same no good men…it’s you, not him.
He’s afraid of commitment: He just may be, but how long are you willing to wait for him? If you want commitment & he said he is not ready or unsure, then you can’t blame him if after 5 years you still aren’t married. A wedding is not going to happen!! Listen carefully when a man speaks because he’s telling you want he wants and what he doesn’t want. And when he tells you something, be observant and be smart. Some men are just full of shit! For example, if you’ve been dating John for 3 weeks & he’s already expressed his love for you – BE CAREFUL! I think love at first sight is a great fantasy, but if its real love then what’s the rush? If he loves you after 3 weeks then he’ll love you the same a year later. Some men say certain things to certain women because they know how far they’ can get if they say the right things. Listen, be smart, be observant & know your limits & absolute deal-breakers in a relationship.
Men are selfish, inconsistent & only want one thing: First of all if you’re dating a selfish & inconsistent man beyond the 3rd date, then that’s your own fault. It shouldn’t take you long to discover a person’s character, so by the 3rd date you should be able to see what you’re working with. If you give him the time of day after he’s shown his true colors, then you must like his selfishness & inconsistencies. Some women like to give men a chance or some time to see if they really are compatible. By the 3rd date, however, you should have had enough time to see if you’re compatible or not. When you get to the “I’m giving him a chance” point, you’re really just figuring out if you can deal with his flaws. When you deal, you settle! Don’t settle ladies!! If it is obvious you’re not attracted to his character, then keep it moving. If you continue to “give him a chance,” then don’t expect anything different from what he’s offering. You picked him! How you found him is how he will be!
And yes most men do want one thing, but you have a choice whether to give it to him or not. For example, don’t blame a man if you have sex on the 1st date and he never calls you again. It may be rude, but that’s the chance you take when you have sex on the 1st date. Now I don’t have rules about how early is too early to have sex when dating, but I do believe in having realistic expectations. Don’t expect a relationship to develop after having sex on the 1st date. It’s great if a relationship eventually develops, but don’t expect it. Be realistic – his interest in you may fade because he already got what he wanted, or he may genuinely like you, but he’s even more sexually driven because he’s already had a taste of the pie (pun not intended). The point is you know yourself better than he knows you. If you’re more of an emotional person rather than a sexual person, sex on the 1st date may not be for you. Choose your sexual encounters wisely. It’s not often that a man will reject sex, so you can’t blame them if the outcome is far different from your expectations.
I could go on and on with the amount of blame women misplace on men in their relationships, but I don’t want women to hate me. HaHa! Ladies you are the owner of you, so when things continuously go wrong in your relationships, you have to look within. Now I don’t want women beating themselves up for the wrong decisions they’ve made in their love life, but I do want women to take ownership of their circumstances. No person can be more accountable of your life than YOU! I am simply suggesting that women evaluate themselves before blaming their man, or all men for that matter. You really don’t have to blame anyone, rather be aware of your flaws and bad habits. However, blame often helps people cope with their unfortunate love life, so just be sure you’re placing blame on the right person…