Venting: NO Baby Talk & Lame BBMs!

(Originally posted December 19, 2010)

I have a bone to pick with a few men I’ve encountered on the dating scene recently, so please excuse my candor. First of all, if you are holding a baby that is not your niece or nephew, please do NOT approach me. What the hell is wrong with guys who think that I would be attracted to him AND his newborn baby??? This happened twice already and the first time I ignored it. The second time occurred this past week while Christmas shopping, and this time I entertained the man. I really wanted to know his thought process when he decided to approach me while holding his child. In passing he said “Wow I’d like to take you out,” I stopped and said “excuse me?” He repeated what he said and I then asked “is this your baby?” He responded yes and explained how he and his baby mama aren’t together anymore, but he’s still a man and he’s going to “take care of his.” The baby looked like she was less than six months old. So after his explanation, I asked him why he thought I’d even entertain his comment while he held his obviously young child. He confidently said that his child has nothing to do with his interest in women. If he notices an attractive woman, he’s going to attempt to get her attention no matter what. I was so disgusted. There is something wrong with a man who flirts with a woman while holding his child. In a situation where the child is older, 9 for example, it is still disgusting for a man to flirt or gawk at a woman’s butt in the presence of his child. Try to be a good example to your children and have enough common sense to know that a smart woman will ignore your ass if you flirt while holding your baby! I know all men don’t do this stupidity, but for those that do…you’re LAME!!!

So if that wasn’t enough stupidity for you, here’s some more. I was at the Verizon store buying a Christmas gift and I recognize a familiar face from high school. We chatted and caught up for a while and we exchanged BBM pins (a great way to avoid giving out my phone number). So he BBMs me that night asking me what street I live on because he’ll come pick me up and we can go for a ride. Really??? What am I a damn dog? So I politely told him “no thank you, I don’t know you so I’m not going to tell you where I live and furthermore, I’m not a dog that likes to go on joy rides.” Of course he was taken aback, but I had to explain that if he wants to spend time with me, he has to come up with something a little better than a car ride in his Nissan. Shit if I want to go on a car ride then I’ll get in MY car and drive my damn self around. Was he serious? Yes he was. He said it was an innocent gesture because he wanted to see me and talk since I didn’t give him my number. Such an idiot! So instead of maybe asking me for my phone number, he instead decides to ask me for my address so he can scoop me and take me around the block a few times. Where’s the logic? I really had to explain to him that although he’s a familiar face from high school, I didn’t know him and I would never give him my address after a brief acquaintance. Uuuggghh!! I was so annoyed that he didn’t get it. I was even more annoyed because another guy that I apparently gave my number to years ago, left me a voice message saying “Hi this is “Vernon.” We met about three years ago and I was just checking on you to see how you were doing. Maybe I can stop thru to see you and say what’s up. Call me.” I wish I made this stuff up!

So I had one guy who wanted to take me for a joy ride and then I had another guy who three years later decides to contact me so he can stop by to says what’s up. It was at that moment I remembered a crucial key to dating – expect the worst and hope for the best. I was so frustrated with these men, but I had to cool my frustration and realize that this is what I have to expect out here on the dating scene. I was a little rusty because I purposefully hadn’t been on the scene in a while, but I understand now. Either some men don’t know how to court a woman, or their approach has worked in the past and they figure it’ll work on every woman. In these situations I usually reflect on myself to see if there was something I could have done differently to avoid these type of men. However, in dating you sometimes don’t know who you’re really dealing with until before or sometimes after the first date. That’s how the dating life is. You meet someone, you chat for a while, exchange numbers (or BBMs if you’re not sure about him), and then you find out he’s a lame and you move on to the next one. If it works out then it works out, but there are going to be the lame ducks along the way and now I accept this pattern. I don’t expect anything, and hope one day I’ll get everything.

*By the way if you’re a woman who would entertain either one of these men, then you should think about what type of man you’re attracted to because it says a lot about your limits.



  1. You hit it on the head. These “herbs” (still love that word u taught me) had these moves work on other females and they assume it works on all females. I dont know which one is worse. The guy on calls back three years later or the guy who wants all your info the first night yall talk.

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