Facebook Dating

(Originally posted November 13, 2010)

Who would have thought Facebook would become a cheating tool for relationships? Of course the creators of Facebook did not intend users to use their site as a dating device, but that’s what the popular social network has become. It’s now a tool to find a jumpoff or to catch a cheating lover. I’ve heard many stories about couples breaking up because of Facebook and the reasons range from too many “friendly” posts from the opposite sex, revealing status updates, pictures, and the most common, the relationship status. My reaction to Facebook breakup stories is this – YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS!!!

People grow up! Facebook is a social network to find and keep in touch with friends and family. It is not to be used for dating purposes. What information do you really expect to gain from a site like Facebook? Why are you looking for information about your mate on Facebook? Aren’t there better things to do then to analyze a post, a picture, a status update or a relationship status? Get a freakin’ hobby! Let me break it down for you. If you think your mate is cheating, then one of two things are going on. Either your mate’s demeanor makes you  think they’re cheating, or you’re insecure and looking for evidence that may not be there. One of my most important rules to dating is not to tolerate anything less than what you want. So if your mate’s behavior make you think “hmmm,” don’t look to Facebook for clues. DUH! The best way to get to the bottom of your mate’s behavioral change is to talk. I know some people say what the hell is conversation going to do, but what the hell is snooping on Facebook going to do? Dating and relationships are about trying your best. The best way to “try” is to communicate your thoughts and feelings to your partner. If you try talking to your mate and they respond positively, then it means they want to be open with you. If they are unwilling to talk, then it means they have something to hide or they’ve emotionally checked out. You know your partner well and you know when the dynamics of your relationship have changed. Don’t be an idiot looking for clues on Facebook. Don’t gripe at your partner with stupid questions like “Who is that,” “why did she leave that comment on your wall,” “so we’re not in a relationship now?” Duh you idiot! If your mate is not claiming you to the world then don’t expect anything more.

The other theory is that you may be on the hunt for evidence that your mate is cheating, but the evidence may not be there. Sometimes our insecurities take over our reasoning. So again if the dynamics of your relationship have changed then you must talk to your partner. Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions. The more you analyze things, the more you may push your partner away and destroy the trust in your relationship. The last thing you want to do is rely on Facebook for dating answers. I can’t stress enough how important it is to communicate with your mate face to face. And what about your mates “friends” who leave inappropriate comments on their page? Well guess what? That’s not your battle to fight. Your mate should be the one to put that person in check…that’s if he/she truly values your relationship. And for those of you who are briefly dating someone and you’re already analyzing their Facebook page, then you don’t trust yourself enough discover the person’s qualities on your own . There’s nothing wrong with browsing someone’s page, but don’t analyze the meanings of comments, posts, status updates or pictures. It’s absolutely pointless!

Having a relationship and a Facebook account can work, BUT you have to use common sense. And honestly I think there’s something wrong with people who obsess with Facebook. If you’re on Facebook more than at least twice a day for a minimum of two hours, then you obviously have too much time on your hands. That’s what’s wrong with relationships today. Too many people are worried about relationship statuses and comments on Facebook, rather than paying attention to reality. During my two and half-year relationship I purposefully chose not to disclose my relationship status. Who cares who I’m dating and who care’s when we break up (because of course that becomes obvious when the status changes to single)? It’s all very trivial. The status of my relationship is nobody’s business but mine and my partner. And I don’t look for information about my relationship on Facebook. If I don’t trust him then I don’t need to be with him.

It’s not rocket science! Trust your instincts and don’t let a social network define the status of your connection with your mate. I’m a strong believer that relationships don’t have to be complicated. You have to work to make it work, but it doesn’t have to be complicated when it comes to trust. If you don’t trust your mate, then it may not be worth the work.Trust your judgment! Don’t be a Facebook idiot!

Check out this YouTube video. Hilarious! 


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